I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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