So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize