just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
