Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
