I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
