Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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