3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wish I could teleport
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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