omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
