...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
