woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
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Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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