Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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