i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
