You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
