that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
