direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
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Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
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My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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