just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
