THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My penis needs a shock collar
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
