You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
