I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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