Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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