I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
