yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
