Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
