quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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