if you like me you must not know who I am
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
