that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
