The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
