guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
honey bunches of taint.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
