i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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