i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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