I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize