Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/yiuw
  Replies (16) Good night (1077) Bad night (3606)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I bet i've been more pregnant than you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I bet i've been more pregnant than you. http://tfl.nu/0mti
  Replies (16) Good night (835) Bad night (4445)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today. http://tfl.nu/ix6a
  Replies (44) Good night (7144) Bad night (1421)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it? http://tfl.nu/y99r
  Replies (14) Good night (1029) Bad night (4299)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka.. http://tfl.nu/lv2f
  Replies (20) Good night (4671) Bad night (1213)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree

  (404): View more from Georgia

  YES.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree (404): YES. http://tfl.nu/chua
  Replies (5) Good night (3817) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP! http://tfl.nu/1t3i
  Replies (5) Good night (1118) Bad night (3885)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts. http://tfl.nu/1rjt
  Replies (2) Good night (1973) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  How was your 8:30 class today?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): How was your 8:30 class today? (1-306): Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus. http://tfl.nu/9y2t
  Replies (1) Good night (598) Bad night (1266)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs. http://tfl.nu/477y
  Replies (12) Good night (2708) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?" http://tfl.nu/b210
  Replies (5) Good night (1244) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever. http://tfl.nu/7tpa
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold http://tfl.nu/d5yp
  Replies (8) Good night (1298) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life. http://tfl.nu/cjom
  Replies (1) Good night (601) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  ... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+49): ... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany. http://tfl.nu/88tv
  Replies (0) Good night (515) Bad night (202)

Randomize