I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes