That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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