As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
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Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
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I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.