Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god

(202): View more from Washington, DC

you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary

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(202): I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god (202): you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary http://tfl.nu/3z0i

Replies (27) Good night (1488) Bad night (530)
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(408): View more from California

I think I just got seasick

(409): View more from Texas

you're not on a boat

(408): View more from California

he has a waterbed.

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(408): I think I just got seasick (409): you're not on a boat (408): he has a waterbed. http://tfl.nu/239c

Replies (7) Good night (1457) Bad night (639)
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(419): View more from Ohio

my computer doesn't work...

(619): View more from California

why?

(419): View more from Ohio

i puked on it last night

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(419): my computer doesn't work... (619): why? (419): i puked on it last night http://tfl.nu/kifb

Replies (4) Good night (904) Bad night (2466)
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(863): View more from Florida

UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.

(863): View more from Florida

Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

At least you don't cum in color.

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(863): UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground. (863): Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine. (321): At least you don't cum in color. http://tfl.nu/1kue

Replies (15) Good night (2769) Bad night (937)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before

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(605): I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before http://tfl.nu/b07w

Replies (12) Good night (5150) Bad night (1092)
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(410): View more from Maryland

there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck

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(410): there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck http://tfl.nu/47wj

Replies (18) Good night (3426) Bad night (932)
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(214): View more from Texas

You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.

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(214): You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle. http://tfl.nu/y634

Replies (14) Good night (4325) Bad night (1232)
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(301): View more from Maryland

It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.

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(301): It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have. http://tfl.nu/pc4d

Replies (30) Good night (2982) Bad night (7680)
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(305): View more from Florida

and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him

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(305): and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him http://tfl.nu/st8n

Replies (10) Good night (3036) Bad night (1824)
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(740): View more from Ohio

you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving

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(740): you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/qna9

Replies (14) Good night (3404) Bad night (955)
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(330): View more from Ohio

The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.

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(330): The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life. http://tfl.nu/qfsl

Replies (5) Good night (4110) Bad night (723)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.

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(603): to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald. http://tfl.nu/pb1j

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(614): View more from Ohio

Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.

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(614): Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes. http://tfl.nu/ghhe

Replies (13) Good night (587) Bad night (2294)
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(224): View more from Illinois

Is it rude if I don't go?

(248): View more from Michigan

No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.

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(224): Is it rude if I don't go? (248): No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party. http://tfl.nu/zhsj

Replies (5) Good night (1361) Bad night (484)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.

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(405): ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction. http://tfl.nu/wfsg

Replies (1) Good night (236) Bad night (478)

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