are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
