...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
