I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
