I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
