apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
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Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize