I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
