You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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