Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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