I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
