Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
if only i could text you this smell
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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