Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
