You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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