In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
