So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
