I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
