do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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