Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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