i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
