Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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