oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
