Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
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He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
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I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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