i think i have herpe
just one?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
