PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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