Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
