Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
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Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
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I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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