I'm drive I can fine osifer
of course. lets lasso hookers.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
