I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
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Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
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hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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